First and foremost I apologize about the long period of silence, indeed this time has been a bit crazy for me both physically, emotionally and of course energetically but we have to continue moving forward with each stride. With that being said I bring you to the topic for today: unplug.
Why unplug you may ask? Personally, as an anxiety riddled human, I have taken the time to research the benefits of unplugging over the course of the past 2 years and without a question of a doubt I have found endless reasons as to why this may be the easiest way to aid anxiety symptoms. Which is why I have been spending alot less time I front of a screen and more in time in my garden. Infact I spend less time on social media, watching TV and listening to radio now, more than I have done my entire life.. so why may you ask?
I realised that alot of the posts, shows, music and most importantly the news, which I was listening to had indirectly triggered one of the 3 core/ root causes of anxiety. I would see a friend purchasing a new car and question “Why am I not there yet?” Or someone doing something utterly amazing and wishing I could get there too… but those things are not a true reflection of someone’s life. Behind the digital screen it’s easy to remove all the flaws that we as humans may have and edit in illusions that arent true or just. We think someone is having a perfect relationship because they appear in a particular picture, unbeknown to us the tons of fights which both partners endured in order to get to that picture perfect moment.
Life has been augmented to make us feel like we are not doing enough when we actually are. We leave our jobs, partners, family to seek a life that isnt even real or isnt even meant for you in this life time. Social media gives us a false sense that we need to do more or be someone else and to change who you are, but in essence you are perfect because you were perfectly created by God, to serve your own purpose.
It’s not unknown to us that governments around the world use television, radio and social media as their platform to elicit an emotional response from us, be that fear, joy, anger and so forth. So not only are industries indirectly making you feel as though you arent enough in some aspect, They are unconsciously controlling the emotional state of our day by feeding us information that is not always beneficial for self growth. An example of this would be those repetitive adverts asking you to do something or perform an action out of guilt “If you dont donate so much to… then…. hungry children will suffer in the months to come” Yes, doing charitable tasks is a good thing but I dont think it’s as good when someone performs the task out of guilt rather than it being done out of compassion.
Day in and day out marketers look for way to get more reactions and to evoke more emotions from an already emotional human race, and if you add emotions onto what you already emotionally feeling you end up with that messy volcano which we spoke about in the previous posts. Which bring me to the question: “are you watching or are your questioning”
As an empath or even as an anxious person its important that we question the emotions that marketers and governments are try to evoke because the end goal is not to hold onto more emotions that flare up your anxiety, but learn to release those emotions and act accordingly.
I think that it is necessary that if you find it difficult to unplug for a certain amount of time a day, that you actually think about what you’re watching and why are you spending time on it, and also what purpose does that platform hold in your life. If it is not growing your mind and spirituality the chances are that it is not helping your anxiety in any way, shape or form. If you have questions as to the social media detox I did and also how I’ve moved into a place of social media peace, please do not hesitate to drop a comment below Please stay tuned as posts will be coming up hard and fast in the weeks to come.
Leo season is on the horizon – you dont want to miss out on some Leo love
It is with great excitement and honour that I had the opportunity to team up with my wonderful friend Tee for this post. I’m sure that you would have noticed that I have been posting about her over the past two months, and I would like to introduce you to a small portion of the programme which she has created, and to express with love and kindness what I have learned from her work.
To begin, the name of the course which I worked through with Tee is entitiled “One step at a time” which focuses on slowing down and seeing what resources you have available within yourself at that present moment in order to achieve your goal, then aims to teach how one is able to control and use those resources. Of course mediation came up as it is one of our strongest tools, but so often it is over looked or pushed aside. Until later it resurfaces.
Truth be told when I began meditating all those years ago it was a daunting task as the digital age has left me feeling vulnerable because of information overload: One website suggests this, the other another suggested something else and on top of that there are hundreds and hundreds of youtube channels suggesting their own idea’s around meditation. It’s a wonder why I still have wonderful friends asking “What do I do?” or “Where do I begin?” and honestly what should you do?
“One step at a time” perfectly describes how both myself and Tee understands and perceive meditation. It’s not so much about how many hours you can sit still with your eyes close, but more about analyzing the journey and how your able developed your mental space one step at a time. If you have a quiet place, just sit, you don’t need fancy music, voice recordings, etc. For that moment, sit and see what comes of your life. The reality about life is that it Is messy, things don’t always go According to plan and that takes a mental toll on our bodies. We worry and stress, suffer from anxiety, remunerating thoughts or depression and most of all we forget to meditate. We go through highs and lows and that’s perfectly normal in our “Deen” but have you actually thought about how to refuel in order to cope with those highs and lows?
I read a study a few months ago that said that in order for our brains to function at its optimal best, its imperative that the body gets a few hours of “Quiet time” each day, because only during that time the brain is cut off from a large influx of sensory feedback and therefore can relax, recuperate and regenerate.
For me, I don’t believe every meditative practice you do should always follow the traditional set standards that we have all come to know, as those are guidelines could either serve your growth while others may hinder. I found that sitting in my garden observing the plants and allowing my thoughts to come and go has resulted in a ton of meditative benefits for me but it that cannot be said the same for someone else.
Which brings me to a 2nd big question: “how long should I meditate for?” Frankly I don’t believe that there is a set time for all humans alike. Yes I do aim for 10-15mins a day but when I began I could only cope with 3mins, then there were times where I had to mental capacity to meditate for up to 30mins but no two days were the same as much as I aimed for that 10-15 minute mark. Therefore its imperative you remember to take your journey “One step at a time.” if today your body calls for 10mins of meditation then do so, if it calls for 5 minutes then do that. If you know that you are someone who likes to follow a regime then work out what would be the best way for you to add meditation to your life. I believe your body knows what’s best for you and in order to find out what that is, all you have to do is quiet the mind and listen to what your body calls for. Each day our body and minds gives us clues about what we need or which direction to move but its impossible to hear or see those clues when you have an influx of swarming thoughts. I think once you have gotten comfortable with your own space, thoughts and internal environment then it’s easier to delve into the depths of the internet to seek help for that which you need to grow in your meditative state, such as how Tee’s programmed has helped me grow.
Yes, there are some useful tips to remember when meditating such as: • It’s good to begin a meditative practise with some breath work as your breathing will help to centre and ground your mind and body. • Find a place that makes you feel safe both externally and internally because any fear that arises may cause a fear thought process which we don’t want. • Another awesome technique which I learned was when I thought enters your mind allow it to drop down into your heart centre and dissipate into love for yourself. It’s not easy at all but I find it helps to train your brain to relax during meditation.
In the end, it’s important that you make the choice to take your journey “One step at a time” at a pace that is right for you. There is no need to rush into mediation, yoga and and and all in one day, you will burn out but if you look at what you’re able to do now, you will notice it’s enough to carry you to that next step. ♡ I thank you Tee for that beautiful reminder. If you would like information about Tee and her wonderful 8 week programme, her information had been placed into the drop down tab above.
Light and love to you on your journey and remember to live it “One step at a time” Charndre and Tee ♡
Today’s message is a simple and short one. In order to overcome your anxiety, it is imperative that you make the choice to live with it. Its impossible for us as humans to throw away those anxious feelings and thoughts, hence the best thing you can do for yourself to to accept that anxiety is apart of your body; like happiness, sadness, joy, despair. Anxiety, as mentioned in the previous post, is a physiological response to protect us, therefore as a human we cannot be separated from this response. So accept it.
Breath in and accept that anxiety is you and apart of you, and like sadness we have to learn to cohabitate with it. No two days in our “Deen” will be the same, so accept anxious days as a friend. I read something many years ago that said “If your friend were going through what you are now, how would you treat and speak to that friend?” ofcourse you would react with compassion and love. However when we are in a emotional state we choose to fight with our minds and bodies. We automatically think there is something wrong with ourselves. The only the wrong is that we dont give ourselves the compassion and love which we so easily give to others. Use the tools which I have given, to aid your anxiety, seek out the core issues from which it stems and start working with your body and your anxiety to formulate a better mental space.
Be your own best friend not just for today but on all days.
As women we know exactly what it feels like to be triggered and we know as much as we try to control those emotions, the harder we try, its inevitable that those emotions come out of us like lava; burning everything it touches including ourselves. It’s amazing to look at the now and see yourself as a fire breathing dragon on “those days” but we seldom conceptualize the fact that this trigger started many layers ago and the more someone presses the button the more fatal the shot becomes.
What are your triggers? A trigger can be any thought, situation or person which causes your anxiety to flair up
We begin as children, peaceful In our endeavours to Express our emotions freely and openly and we deal with triggers head on, setting boundaries and living in harmony with other humans. As a soon to be teacher, I’ve seen this simple act played out many a time: Kid 1 is found playing peacefully when Kid 2 enters and begins to play along side kid 1. Kid 1 notices his area has been invaded so to say, which means the 1st trigger alarm goes off -personal space. Kid 2 begins to play with some of the toys that kid 1 was initially playing with, meaning a 2nd trigger alarm goes off -protecting items that are “Mine.”Kid 1 begins to show emotional attachments to the toy that kid 2 is now playing with, which makes Him stands up to shout “Ma’am he is playing with my toy” and then communication opens up where kid one is able to express his dislike for someone else playing with his toys. He then sets his boundary by telling kid 2 how he feels about the invasion. Kid 2 more often then not offers a peaceful solution such as “Can I play with these toys and you can have the rest” or “Can I trade you this toy for that toy” they both understand the boundary lines set And progress from that point.
Adults are completely different. When we are triggered more often then not we silence ourselves, rather than taking the time to voice how those triggers make us feel. We believe that person will change or the situation will change so we continue keeping the silence until We have multiple trigger alarms going off and eruption at the brink. This goes on for days, weeks or months before we actually voice how we feel and by that time it has built up so much that it spews out of us like Hot, flaming lava that burns.
The truth is, the more your allow people to walk over your boundaries you give them the button to pull the trigger. Actually you walk them into your home(your mind), you make them comfortable and you allow them to shoot you right there and then. Then we ask ourselves: “Why am I so irritable?” or “Why do I feel so triggered” The same can be said about our anxiety; We have little nuances that sit in the background trying to warn us about when we enter into a danger zone, a place that will recall a painful memory and cause your anxiety to stop you in your tracks. Sometimes it’s something they said that takes you back to the root cause of self esteem: “why did you do it like that? Or “So and so would have done it differently.” Back to the root cause of perfectionism: “is this truly your best?” or “you could have done better?” Lastly the root cause of control: like when a friend stops talking to you unexpectedly… you didn’t predict it or control their exit strategy… now you’re defenceless.
Its important at the onset of anxiety to identify what the root cause is and then focus on what triggers those root causes. Personally speaking, I had allowed myself to become triggers by any question that pick at who I was as a person triggered my anxiety 10 fold. My advice is to spend time writing down possible scenarios in which you felt triggered and see what happened during that time that triggered you so bad. Its wise to ask the question “ is something or someone in my life pulling the trigger button and how do I get them to stop?” The problem is giving someone or something the power to trigger you, the more power you give that person or thing. In turn the less power you have to heal and love yourself. We are humans with only a certain amount of energy for ourselves and its imperative that we think about how we use that power.
An example: we all start our day with an hand full of energy. Your work takes ¼ , all relationships in your life take ¼, your socializing and browsing social platforms take another ¼ and then all your left with for yourself is ¼ for that day. But that’s not it, imagine that youre triggered by someone or something in your day so you give half of the energy you have for yourself to a trigger and to help cope with it, in the end of the day you have none left for yourself. That is why you enter the next day depleted. I used to ask my mom a simple question “how does a person wake up tired every day?” and simply explained, that was the reason I had no energy to invest into myself.
To end this post off today I’m asking you to sincerely assess how much energy you expend because of your triggers: ¼ , ½ or 1/8 but that choice is yours alone. Asses what are your triggers and how the directly link to your root cause of anxiety and find a way to work around them, lessening the blow of each trigger. Only in not being moved or phased by those triggers will you come to find that you’re able to Invest more time in than core self. Light and love to you today Charndré
Hi my dear friend… this week’s topic is simply understanding the core/ root cause of our anxieties, what triggers that core and how do we climb this mountain. As simple as it sounds this topic has left me a bit heavy handed, so in an attempt to lessen the load, this week’s topic will be done across the span of 3 days, in which each day will focus on one of those aspects. I hope these short breaks in between will provide you will necessary time for self-evaluation, self-compassion and of course self-love. I aim to keep each post as short as possible and I do hope you enjoy this miniseries within a series.
To briefly enlighten you about the medical aspect of anxiety; our body runs on two types of nervous systems that controls our bodily functions. The parasympathetic nervous system controls our organ functions such as breathing, blinking, blood pumping and so on… the sympathetic nervous system changes those bodily functions to help us cope with a sudden stress factor. Let me explain this in a short scenario: your walking at the lake and an aggressive goose (as they always are) tries to peck at you; Either you choose to stand and let it happen, fight back or, like me, take flight and run away. Our means of deciding what to do in this scenario is controlled by the sympathetic nervous system. As an anxious person, mentally you form speculations around things that you are worried about. Your mental channels therefore create fears that are not always present in your day. That fear is so present and real in the mind that the body begins to think it’s in a state of threat. We then live in that state of stress, hence why an anxious person presents those same bodily reactions of being in danger: sweaty hands, over thinking the situation, racing heart, dehydration and so on. Now that we understand how anxiety is formed in our brains, we need to peel back to layers to understand which thoughts create fear folders in our brain.
The first core or root cause is a personal one to me as its focus is around how you view yourself – Self-Esteem and your level of self-confidence. It’s so easy to be confident, courageous, and daring in your outwardly appearance but many a confident person lacks self confidence at the core of their being. Do you believe in who you are as a person and your own innate abilities? I had to take time focusing inwardly and asking myself “how do I actually feel about Charndré” compared to what I was projecting to the world. What I found, was that at the soul of my being had no trust in who I was as a person, the foundations were weak and shaky and If your core foundation about the way that you think and speak about yourself is off, of course anxiety will be present as you will always question “Am I enough?”
You will love someone and question if your love is enough. You will work in your dream job, but you will question if that work is enough. You will have a family, but you will question if you’re doing enough for them. The answer is that you are most likely doing great things, but you don’t believe it because your core is not strengthened by the justifications of who you are as a human. If this Is the root cause of your anxiety, I encourage you to look inwardly and spend time in the box. The way you speak to yourself is so important so spend time in front of the mirror talking words of power and kindness into your being, reaffirm the way you feel about you and once you become sure of that human, no external views will be able to cause anxiety in your being.
The second core or root issue that we should focus on is perfectionism. Perfectionism believe it or not, causes anxiety to turn on its head. The constant desire to do things right and perfect all the time sets an unnecessary precedent that is almost impossible to achieve all the time. When we realize that standard is impossible to reach, we begin to start doubting ourselves and worrying if the work we are putting out is good enough. From that we start creating channels in our brain that forms messages how around fear, because we always want your work to be top notch. It is also how the brain starts to become fearful of task completions, which in turn can lead to the desire to procrastinate. Essentially, we withdraw our engagement from the task (or procrastinate) because we fear the output – will the work be perfect by my standard?
We become so hard on ourselves and force ourselves to work to the bone in order to ensure everything is perfect. The truth is perfection does not exist, something that is deemed perfect to me might be far from perfect to someone else, therefore anything we do will not seem enough if we don’t believe in the work we can do and our ability to do so. If your core is based around perfectionism the best advice, I can offer is drop that notion of wanting to create perfect world. Yes wanting to put your best work forward is a good trait but it doesnt have to infiltrate your life. Remember God has given you a talent which belongs to you solely, if you focus on doing the best you are able to do, in the body your in and with a positive mindset that in itself is enough. Once you make peace with the fact that your work is perfection its own right because of that Special God given talent, you will stop trying to reach that unnecessary standard.
The last core or root issue deals with wanting to control the outcome. Children who have experienced any form of neglect, abandonment or constant change (I’ve been told) grow up having a deep desire to create an outcome that will not put you back into that space and emotional trauma. They try everything with our might to control all aspects of their life to the point where we try a control all interactions. As mentioned in post 1; you cannot control everything all the time, but we definitely do try. The inability to control all outcomes causes anxiety. My advice is to focus on the core of your being and ask yourself if you fear abandonment, do you fear neglect, not only as a child but after a break up or a family feud or even after leaving a job. Anytime we experience a major detachment your body tries to adjust itself to protect you from going through that form of trauma again, which can explain the anxiety around similar situations. This can be seen in the form of relationship anxiety after a nasty breakup. If you are at present in anxious space, imagine what added fear does to that equation. If so, you need to affirm yourself about those people who have stayed and those who are for you. Often, we look at all those things we lost, we forget to look up and see all those things that have stayed. Affirm the core of you that even when you had no one around to save you, you had yourself and that person kept you going till this point. Go back to her, thank her for walking through hell and surviving.
For today, a short exercise: write a gratitude note to yourself about qualities which you appreciate in yourself. Perhaps you would like to show gratitude to your hardworking brain or hands that can make beautiful things? Continue to reaffirm your true self and those anxieties will begin to fall away.
See you on Wednesday for Part 2 of this miniseries. Light and love to you till then Charndré♡
Hi my dear friend I’m so happy to have you back for yet another week of self Care and development. Before we commense, have you tried some justifications in your day and did you write up a love/Gratitude note to yourself? If you did so please comment or PM to let me know how to went and if it happened to make a small difference in your day 😊
To touch briefly on the topic of my previous post (for those who are only joining in today) the main concept which I paid mind to was what we are able to control. If you recall, I had mentioned that the only true thing which you have control over is: “Yourself and how you react.” Therefore, if this is your true means of control why not focus your attention to the part of your body that controls the whole system: The lungs. Two big tree shaped organs waiting to produce your currency.
I’m sure at this point you’re wondering why I have chosen to talk about breath work as the topic of choice for today and how can it relates to anxiety. Truth be told, when you’re living through anxiety, each breath is your currency it is what you use to pay God to help you control that messy state of mind, and if this be true, imagine how many other things you will be able to afford in this lifetime if you simply decided to expand your currency by breathing more often. During my most anxious days, and through the worst parts of a panic attack, the only thing that kept me a float was the constant thought to “just breathe”. However it didnt begin this way; at the peak of an panic attack, your thoughts are swarming like locusts in your brain, your heart is racing at 120km/h and you have no means of expressing what is truly happening to you. So naturally you go to the hospital and the lovely nurse administers a sedative drug to calm you down and to help you to regroup.
If any of you have dabbled in the art of chronic anxiety and depression medications you would know for certain that those medications are the worst by far. Dawn of the walking dead doesnt come close in comparison to an anxious person on anxiety meds. For me, it felt like someone unplugs the thought processing cable out of my brain, and the power cable out of my body. I become a body. Not a human. Not a being. Just a body – lifeless. Unable to get back to point zero and that’s when I decided a change must occur, how do I sedate my own body? Years of yoga practice reins true during this time as I realised breathing was one of the sure ways to sedate my anxious thoughts and that in itself is the reason why I have decided to discuss 6 breathing techniques which I live by in order to help ease my anxiety.
My dad was my 1st teacher as He lives by Three philosophies of breathing. He has repeated these Three quotes over a 1000 times in my lifetime, so to honour that, I begin with the 3 breath work techniques which he instilled into my life while growing up.
The first:“Are you breathing deeply?” The main goal of this question was to ensure that my sister and I were breathing from our lungs and not our chest. He would make us do the tummy check at the very least, once a day because he believed that Athletes need a lot of oxygen in order to keep them going.
Protip1: To do a tummy check simply place one hand on your chest and one on your tummy then breath in. If your chest hand rises you’re breathing into your chest but if your tummy hand rises then you know for sure that you’re lungs are filling up with cosmic deliciousness.
What I’ve learned from this little task is that our bodies require a lot of GOOD oxygen in order for us to be women of the year, and more so an anxious person requires double that amount of oxygen to help calm them down during a panic attack. With each breath we are afforded the opportunity to breathe in possibility and growth; with each exhale we are afforded the opportunity to let go of the hurt, pain and anxieties that we feel on a daily basis. Therefore, take the Time to breathe deeply – Not once, twice or during meditation but whenever the thought catches you. Keep breathing deeply and Think of yourself as the athlete of your own life, running your own personal race the best you can. One thing that I know for certain is that an athlete will always take care of their body and do you think that an athlete would let her body starve off oxgyen- Never. So, don’t let your body starve. Ask yourself the question: “Am I breathing deeply today?”
The second: “Catch your breath quickly…” I was a trained Karate fighter before I turned 14. My dad ensured that I was always fighting ready never to be caught unfit or unprepared. Truly speaking you cannot be 100% prepared 100% of the time and Unlike profession fighters I hardly knew the opponent’s, I only knew to train the best I could, at my peak. I did get caught off guard. I was beaten and from that we slowly had to adapt. My father developed a new quote: “Catch your breath quickly, don’t let your enemies catch you off guard”
Your enemy does not have to be a human in flesh and blood as a daily enemy can take the form of remunerating thoughts, anxious feelings or even depression. Your enemy can be anyone, thought or emotion that tries to overpower your will and ability. When you have learned to identified your triggers (which we will touch on next week) you will become aware of when the onset of a panic attack is rising, and from that its imperative that we learn how to quickly regain control of your body before panic erupts. If we make the time and to catch our breath before the onset of anxiety takes over, would anxious thoughts be able to flow into your mental space so easily? Moreover, If you have recovered from the stresses of yesterday by breathing renewed strength into your body, would the anxieties of tomorrow be able to penetrate your mind? I think it that may be difficult to do so. Breathing is your currency, but more so breathing is your armour, as it can strengthen your body in order to respond effectivity to the terrors of the mind. Don’t allow yourself to get winded by life or by the reactions of others. Catch your breath quickly when you are busy and overworked so that you wont get easily triggered by those enemies. Allow yourself to be ready and waiting so that you can conquer the challenges of your life.
The third: “Good posture means better breathing” To be frank this topic has very little to do with breathing that aids ones anxieties, but it definitely does play an important role in one being able to control that breath. Posture has been a talked about topic for many centuries on how it can aid better breathing, luckily for me, My dad had bought into that very concept very early in my life as he believed that posture was a most important virtue for a woman. Therefore he focused all his energy into ensuring that I always sat up straight, engaged my core and held my head up high – as Good posture is important for good breathing.
In yoga they tell you that when we sit up straight, you are able to fill more of our lung capacity in comparison to sitting hunched over. Therefore, if you would like to be the athlete of your life story you need to be able to fill up your lungs with the maximum amount of oxygen to feed your hardworking muscles and organs. And if this be true then you have to walk tall, engage your core and don’t drop your head. Keep the crown held high and remember that you too are an ethereal Goddess, so walk and live in that essence as you breathe life into the path which you are destined to walk daily.
Protip2: Is a tip that was given to me by Amalia months ago in my 1st Reiki session with her: Go outside in the morning and take 3 good, full and deep breaths. Cold air, warm air it matters not, as long as its fresh air to start your day.
Protip3: Feng 风 (means wind) Shui水 (means water). Feng shui 风水 in Chinese culture is focused on the way wind and water flows through the house. While living in China I was taught that in the morning you should open the windows and doors, remove anything in the line of air. Allow fresh air, thoughts and energy to fill your space. Just by simply clearing the energy of your area and by taking fresh aired deep breaths we create movement, a natural cleaning process of the mind and body, as well as in the household.
My dad played a vital role in teaching me the basics of breathing for that more than grateful to have had a wonderful teacher growing up. However, overtime we do grow up and form our own philosophies, join the rat race of life and forget how to breathe. Luckily for me, that tale was short lived as I met a wonderful and fearless friend: Danielle. Why fearless you may ask? She has been to every crazy yoga class with me to date and it has not all been pleasant. We have done all kinds of yoga styles by simply signing up online as it sounds “Quite cool.” Poor Dee has given me the face of anger mid yoga class in an attempt to telepathically convey her deep dislike for me signing her up to that class. I laugh now thinking about it.
In yoga, you use the term “pranayama” which simply means “The breath of life” in this we mindfully give life to each pose by breathing deeply within every movement, twist and bend. By attending all those yoga classes with me, Dee helped me to breathe life into the foundations which my dad had instilled in me as a kid and from this, yoga took those basic concepts and gave me the opportunity to explore breath in all kinds of new and amazing ways. This brings me to the 3 types of yoga inspired breathing which I used to help calm my thoughts. Please note: I will briefly go through 3 of my favourite yoga breathing techniques to use during yoga and before mediation. If you would like more information about these techniques or would like to find out about some of the other techniques which I have learned through yoga, please don’t hesitate to send me an email, message or comment blow.
The fourth: “Every breath is a movement” Dee and I loved to do Monday night Ashtanga classes, it became our thing prior to lock down. Ashtanga yoga has kicked our butts more nights then most but faithfully the instructor told us that if you make each breath a movement you will flow with the rhythm of body. You wont labour through the routine but flow like water, from one pose to the next. Imagine how wonderful our lives would flow if we allow time to breathe before the next movement, next choice or next decision. Imagine breathing positive thoughts before engaging in conversation or business meeting, imagine breathing as your source of energy? A true source of your power. If you can then try focus on this in your yoga practise today.
The fifth: “Breath of fire” My absolute favourite breathing technique! I Thank the Guru who imparted this wisdom in to breathing practises. Amalia says that our stomachs are the engine of our body as it holds a strong energy force. When we do breath of fire we focus our attention onto that area – we start the engine. I’m sure you can google a hundred different benefits for doing this kind of breath work but the one that stands out to me, was what our Kundalini instructor told us, he said: “Breath of Fire burns away anything that doesn’t serve the body” I love that. And internal combustion system that not only powers you but burns away that which no longer serves you.
To begin breath of fire I always take on a half lotus pose, you are more than welcome to take on full lotus or even easy pose. I place my hands palm facing up and resting on my thighs Breath of fire consists of short, powerful breaths over several minutes but if you are new to it, I suggest only 30 seconds with an short break before repeating it for a second time. Before I begin BOF I would take about 2-3 deep breaths to ensure that my lungs are actively working and begin with a short exhale and then quick inhalations followed by quick exhalations (similar to if you ran 100m sprints and now your breath is quick). After your intervals remember to slow your breath back down by doing deep breathing again. You will start to feel the fire inside as your body warms up, you may feel little light headed too. If you do begin feel light headed stop immediately and take a few deep, slow breaths as your body may not used to coping with the rush of oxygen.This kind of breath work can serve to remind us that yes, self love and rest is important, so too is being hard working and persevering to achieve your dreams. Use this breath as a reminder that you are a powerful human within your own right.
The sixth: “Box breath” The final breathing technique for today and thank you staying tuned till this point. Box breath is special to me as I began my yoga journey with the most inspirational Yogi, 70+ In age but more flexible than half the class combined. “Box Breath” has supported me many a time, during each anxious moment be in silence or eruptions, and I found that it Is the most effective way to calm my mind and body down during attacks. A box is a object with equal sides, in height, depth and width. Box breath replicates that idea by holding each inhalation and exhalation to the count of 5. Begin In half lotus with an out breath, once your lungs are empty count to 5 then inhale to the count of 5. Hold your breath in for the count of 5 and then exhale to the count of 5. Repeat 5 times.
This kind of breathing technique, and the last exercise for today is that to remember to find your centre – to climb back into the box that is you. Focus your energy inwardly and spend time with your aches, pains and stresses. Spend time developing those small passions, talents and find a home within your body. So many people live extrincically wanting to be like “This person” or like “That person” more often than not these expectations are the ones scratching at our anxieties. When we focus on spending time alone, we learn that there is a special message, talent and destination designed for you and you alone. But how can one know of this if one never spent time inside that box, or more so inside their body.
For today ladies, please try anyone of these breathing techniques even if it’s just maintaining good posture. Breathe life into your Hope’s, dreams and passions because truly, I believe you have the ability to live the life that’s meant for you. Thank you staying tuned in to this page and I hope that you will try to incorporate some of these techniques into your life. Please would you kindly pass on my blog information and allow your friends to join in on this knowledge. Having mentioned Amalia earlier in this post, I would like to make you mindful of the fact that she does offer guided breath work meditations, which have truly helped me with grounding and finding peace. For any information regarding Amalia and the lovely work she does, please find her information in the yoga tab above.
Cant wait for next week as we start searching through the core of our anxiety issues and how to break the cycle. Light and love Charndré♡
Why should I share my story? Playing with this idea has been a life long struggle, for there has always been a slight apprehension about putting so much of myself out there. But only by giving, and becoming apart of the whole – do we really discover who we are as an individual. Hi, my name is Charndré. 27.
I cannot properly tell you when 1st I met anxiety. As a kid those lines are blurred beyond belief, as it was ridiculous to think that a child/Teen could suffer from a mental illness. In school I often mistook a racing heart for freedom. Worry is usually brushed off as a “nothing too serious”. Chest pains, week long headaches and panic on Sunday evenings was a constant plague. However I continued as if I was not being plagued by something that would soon consume me.
Your morning begins the same as any other: 6am, the alarm rings, you turn over and hit the snooze button. Your heart begins its race. You breathe deeply in the hope it settles the uneasiness that is slowing building. You brush your teeth, shower and have breakfast (in no particular order) and yet something still feels out of place. Then those thoughts start flooding in: “Did I forget to complete all the work necessary?” “Do I have to see the doctor about this headache?” “Why is my chest paining?” A whirl wind hits your mental state and one thought becomes five; five thoughts becomes ten and soon you cant think of anything else. Your heart races, your chest burns; some how try with all your might to breathe. It hurts to do the most humanly thing possible and soon you begin to question if you will survive, or if your heart will hold on just long enough for you to clear your mental space. You hope for 1 minute that a breath could save your life… But It doesnt. You have a panic attack. And if you ask me, a panic attack is the absolute worst way to start your day. Defeated and depleted and you havent even made it to lunch.
# ProTip1: drink tons of water if you have just experienced a panic attack or feel as though you may
# Protip2: on the onset on a panic attack I usually sit down for a meditation. I cannot bring myself to meditate by myself when I am in this state so I opt for a guided meditation at this time, where the mediation focus is on calming, soothing or energy clearing. I’ve also found that jazz music, classical music and Tibetan singing bowls works well too.
With the rise of Covid-19 outbreak many more people are confessing to feeling some form of server anxiety. Its understandable. That’s why I decided that over the course of the next few weeks I will be discussing 4 aspects of anxiety that I had to deal with in order to calm my panic attacks that many people find themselves coming close to today: 1. Control 2. Deep breathing 3. Understanding the core of your problem 4. A daily challenge to overcome. Please bare in mind that these 4 aspects are what I faced in my personal journey and have not been medically tested. Its purely based on what has helped me.
Before I begin, I have to say thank you to Niyaaz for shining light and a New perspective on the topic for today: Control vs Anxiety.
What is control? Is it possible that we can control everything? Simply put – No. (This is coming from a place of love, so please hear me out…) SWEETIE YOU CANNOT CONTROL EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME . Its impossible. But women hey, we love to think we are in control 100% of time. Spreadsheets – I did that! Meetings with the CEO – I nailed that! Running my own company- winning! Social life? Hell yeah! But then it sinks in, what have I forgotten to do? aaaaaahhhh! And then that feeling of losing control takes over.
Contrary to popular belief, you are infact not out of control or unable to control things in your life, now more than ever you are in control. In life there are really only two things we can truly control: Ourselves and the way we allow ourselves to react. Nothing more, nothing less. So yes, Covid-19 is a real worry because it is REAL threat. You cannot see the bacteria, you have no possible evidence that will say “Yes you have been in contact with it” or “Nope your still safe” and if you haven’t been tested you end up with a brain full of speculations and anxiety in your soul. Is there any way you can change that external possible situation? If there isnt, then focus on how you can change your internal situation.
Step one of overcoming control based anxiety – and one of the most helpful tricks that Ive learned to do in order to help stop anxious thoughts is justification.
You’re always going to feel that flood of thoughts as an anxious person but replace the fear with justification and faith. “OH NO! I Might have come into contact with someone who is carrying the Covid-19 virus” Then simply justify: “Was I wearing a face mask?” “Did I wash and change when I came home?” “Have I been washing my hands regularly?” You see, your anxious feelings and thoughts should not be the “Be all and end all” thoughts and feelings for that day. As soon as the onset of anxiety hits you, hit back harder. Yes you may contract the virus, it is a real life possibilty, but it wont be today because for today you took all the precautions necessary. You may even lose your job as It’s a real reality too right now, but you have the choice to focus on the negatives or choose to focus on how you can move forward from that. During my most anxious days, I would write down a few justifications for things that caused me anxiety and 1 love note to myself. When those anxious thoughts played up, I would read through the notes which I wrote down.
Personally im beginning to see control as an illusion of sorts. We cannot control other people (although for years we have tried), we cannot control our jobs (as that can collapse tomorrow), we cannot control our financial flow but we can choose from this point to control how we react to it. Each event, situation or circumstance which you are placed into is divinely driven. Whether your earning millions or earning nothing it is devinely driven, and nor you or any other human being will be able to change that course.
“Maktub” is one of favourite Arabic quotes. It means “It is written” – Paulo Coelho the alchemist.
Therefore if we buy into this concept that our whole life is written, we have to accept whatever outcomes may arise are too written years before we have arrived to that place. Each obstacle, is not there to break us (as our ego might tell us) but it is there to build us, to grow us and to mold us into better people, who are more prepared for the next challenge. Anxiety is often viewed as a bad trait: Mental disorder is what the doctors refer to it as, but honestly, I have learned more from anxiety than any other teacher or Guru to date. Therefore, If you keep leaning into the desire to control everything, you remove the opportunity of trust and faith. You fill your mind with situations that most likely wont occur and then you force yourself to feel anxious because something in you tells you that you are out of control. Imagine!
I always picture God sitting and watching us humans, making ourselves frantic in an attempt to control things. It must be a good laugh for Him because in essence we dont have control. Something that could be so humbly given to us, can be harshly taken away from us. Hence the best thing we can do as human beings is stop trying to control the process. Let go and only focus on how you can control you. One of my favourite Pastors to listen to is Joel Osteen and he hit the sweet spot one day when he said these words: “When we worry and try and control everything, God sits back and relaxes. When we give control to God, the universe and possibility, then we have time to relax.” So my question is, do you enjoy your body feeling in a state of Frenzy or would you like to Relax? If so… relinquish control. Hand it over to God, the universe and the flow of life.
Replace control with trust. Trust that life will follow it’s due course; like a ferris wheel – sometimes your up, sometimes your down but you always keep moving in Faith. Please know that I’ve used examples today but you can always try these tricks in your life with regards to the thoughts that are causing you anxiety.
For today: I encourage you to focus on you, what are those triggers but also what makes you really happy, then Write down 3 things that came into your life without you controlling it and 1 positive love note to yourself. On the onset of those anxious thoughts begin reading your gratitude/love note and remember without that control, something amazing did happen to you and will happen to you again.
Feel free to comment topics or questions which you would like me to talk about and I will add it to my list. I’ve also added information about online yoga in the drop down tab above. Please dont forget to recommend my blog page as my end goal would be form a community of love and hope for women of all backgrounds to come together. Alone cannot do that, even if we forward this link to two other people, we would have crossed the bridge.
Light and love ATTRAVERSIAMO – let’s cross over Charndré♡
It can be quoted that: “A journey of a thousand miles, begins with the first step” Consider this my first step.
I am not a Sage, Guru or Monk of sorts (Yet..) I have no degree in psychology or physiology. I am me. The only tools I have are the ones I’ve gained in this young life of mine. So please, begin with an open mind, as you take a step into the inner workings of me. Take time, explore my body, find love in the places I’ve hidden it, find kindness lodged between the arteries and know, no matter what I will try to atriculate my story and all the teachers and teachings which have helped me grow, as best as I can. All that I ask is that you recieve it with an open mind.
As I scrolled through my instagram, majority of the teachers and pages which I follow is male driven and immediately red flags hit me like edibles – 3 hours too late. Regardless, I want to begin this page on the footing that us as women cannot keep on recieving advice from men alone. Men who gave not dealt with the emotional outlets of hormone imbalances. Men who have not bared children and watched them grow. Men who have not walked a mile in their own feminine body. Sometimes women need other women. Therefore let’s replace the notions set forward to us by men. Let’s find healing in our feminine. Let the soothing energy of the moon be our guide as we walk this path of healing.
Please join me as we unpack Anxiety and how to find peace within chaos, depression, mediation and all the steps I took to find peace and be happy with my life as it is and whom I am. No two days are the same and we have to endure both the sunshine and the rain, therefore (as a disclaimer) it is imperative we talk about the rainy days as well.
No. This blog is not exclusively for women. Its exclusively for those who want to embody both yin and yang and find balance I hope you find the answers you so desperately seek here. I hope you find love.